The Past Still Speaks

Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Matthew 6:26

I heard one time that if you are in ministry you should treat everyone you encounter as though they are hurting because invariably they are. My roots have struggled with that notion. I was raised to 'get over it'. The older I get the more I come to realize there is a balance to both AND that balance can be quite wobbly. Life is ever learning isn't it.

June 10, 2000 is a day that will be forever etched in my memory. It was a hot, Spring day that brought into my life's journey the biggest speed bump I had ever encountered up to that point. It was a day that would start the painful process of learning real hurt. It was the day I stood in paralyzed fear at the foot of an ER bed grabbing the foot of my youngest brother I begged him to speak to me.  He never did for his lips had been forever silenced by the hand of death. I learned that day what it feels like to walk through a dark tunnel without the hope of ever reaching the other side. I learned that day the reality of death and that it is an awful mystery that leaves one feeling helpless and insignificant.

Since then I've learned that just as the ant (above) needs to pollinate the peony so that it can blossom into something beautiful. To become something that brings beauty and happiness to the rest of creation. The heartaches of yesteryear/day pollinates us so that we likewise can become something beautiful. I am still ever learning, and I love the fact that God has shown patience with me as I learn to get out of myself so that He can shine through me and reflect His love.

One of the greatest lessons I learned from June 10, 2000 was that even though life naturally brings deep sadness and pain God becomes (if we let Him) our dearest friend. When you live with someone you know their true side causing a Heavenly landing to seem far fetch. For a solid month the flames of hell seemed to leap at me, my feet could almost feel the burn, and I lived in near suffocation as I struggled to grasp what was probably reality. Then one night I dreamed that I was sitting on the steps of my parent's front porch talking to a little boy who sat next to me, yet strangely I could not touch him. The sound of his voice came not from beside me but from above. "Todd are you really in Heaven?" I asked. A voice that was filled with happy laughter replied "Yes"! I asked him to tell me what he was doing up there but no more answers came. God in His love gave me a tiny glimpse of Heaven that night and hell has haunted me no more.

With a God like that how can you not help but love Him and want to serve Him. Life is life and sooner or later it bring will you down to it's lowest levels. BUT:

Consider the lilies, they don't toil nor spin

But there's not a king with more splendor than them

Consider the sparrows, they don't plant nor sow

But they're fed by the Master

Who watches them grow

We have a heavenly Father above

With eyes full of mercy

And a heart full of love

He really cares when your head is bowed low

Consider the lilies and then you will know

May I introduce you

To this Friend of mine

Who hangs out the stars

And tells the sun when to shine

And kisses the flowers 

Each morning with dew

But He's not too busy to care about you!

We have a heavenly Father above

With eyes full of mercy

And a heart full of love

He really cares when your head is bowed low

Consider the lilies and then you will know

--author unknown