Monday, July 28, 2014

Honestly Thinking Out Loud

Warning - just random old pictures to go with the random thinking.
I was told once that if we ask God to teach us concerning issue in our lives He will be faithful to do just that. I've had some real trying issues for the last few months. Some days it seemed like things were getting better, that progress was being made. Then along would come a giant crater to mess things up all over again. More than once I just wanted to throw in the towel and say "I'm done". Deep in my soul I knew that wasn't right. My Dad always told me "you don't run from your problems, it will never make a real person out of you". Quite honestly, being a real person just wasn't looking like it was worth it. Being the introvert that I am, becoming a hermit was more my idea of a real person.  Or at least a real lucky one.

When going through difficult circumstances it is SO easy to put blinders on as we view the situation; and therefore, we never see just how much we ourselves are to blame. All we can see is that we've been hurt. If it's happened several times we even become hardened toward that particular person. I quick analysis of the problem leaves us an innocent victim. 

However, if the problems keep rising maybe a more in depth study is needed. Maybe a thorough examination of one's self is necessary after all. I must tell ya, it's painful! It's humbling! It can also be overwhelming. Especially, when the things that have been done/said can never EVER be reversed. WHAT DO YOU DO?! The natural instinct is to crawl into a hole and say "what's the use".  My up-bringing tells me to suck it up. 

I feel lost and confused. Not to mention all alone. A small, quiet voice reminds me to ask Him for wisdom. All along I'd only been asking for partial wisdom - Lord, deal with the other person. It's been amazing to watch what happens when I start praying for complete wisdom - Lord, deal with me too. 

The course we love to sing at Penn View came to my mind yesterday as I was listening to the Sunday morning message: 
There's a miracle in the making
One just for you the Father is working even now.
Your prayers have been heard and the answer is on the way
There's a miracle in the making for you today.

The miracle was nothing elaborate. It was none other than God answering my prayer before I even prayed. The Sunday School lesson and the morning message was the answer to my hopeless problem. The Sunday School lesson was one I would not have heard if it wasn't for a mess up in S.S. teachers. I don't sit in that particular class, but God worked it out that I would cause He knew I needed that lesson. 
Did I want to jump up and testify and praise the Lord and be all excited cause God had answered prayer. NO WAY! More like I wanted to grab a blankie and suck my thumb cause I got too many boo boos listening to that lesson. It was like a mirror had been placed in front of me and I was able to see myself for who I really was - OUCH!

I find it wonderful that when you know you've heard God speak, even if what He has said hurts, it can give so much peace. Peace doesn't mean it's going to be an easy row to hoe, but it gives you the "I can do this" attitude. The natural tendency is always to take the path of least resistance. 
God said you're gonna make it
You're gonna make it through the raging storm.
Don't worry over thunder.
You're not going under.
God said you're gonna make it
You're gonna make it cause the Master's on board.

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